The Wharton Clinic, Take One

As you may recall from a previous post, my doctor had referred me to the Wharton Clinic to help me with my weight loss journey.

When I booked my first intake appointment with the Wharton Clinic, the woman had to put me on hold for a few minutes. No problem! I was at my desk actually at work (wow, feels like a lifetime ago) and while I waited on hold, I shoveled chocolate chips directly from the bag into my mouth with a spoon. Hmm…I guess I could use the help of a weight loss clinic!

Fast forward to today, May 11th, the day of my actual first appointment, by phone of course. I had filled in the forms, examined the reasons why I wish to lose weight… and determined that maybe today, during a global pandemic, is not the best time to unpack my issues from childhood or face my mental health around food and addiction. But I decided to “surgite!” (a term from my university days, which is Latin for “push on”). I wrote out my thoughts in point form and mentally prepared myself for this challenging phone call.

Facing my unhealthy relationship with food is completely terrifying. It’s like the monster under my bed or the boogeyman hiding in the closet. I don’t want to deal with this. There is so much garbage from my growing-up years that I don’t want to unearth. I’ve done it already with a therapist. I’ve talked about it, cried about it, analyzed it and faced it, and now I’m so done with it. Until today, when I have to unpack it again for someone new.

My appointment was scheduled for 3:15pm today. I counted down the hours while I worked and felt kind of twitchy with nerves. Just after 3pm, one of the managers from work called me. But it went on longer than expected and suddenly the clinic was calling. I handed my cell phone to my hubby so he could answer it while I continued the conversation with the manager through my computer. I was actually hoping that the clinic could just hold on for a minute while I tried to wrap it up. But they didn’t. Instead, they said they would re-book me. Not angrily, just kindly.

When I got off the work call, and found out the news, I slumped in my seat. I seemed to be feeling a lot of disappointment and frustration over a phone call I was dreading. I guess I had gotten myself all worked up and ready for the call, and now that it was not going to happen, I was fitful.

If I had had this appointment in person, I would have left work, driven to the clinic and have been able to give it my full attention. While working at home has its benefits, today it just ticked me off royally.

The strange thing is, that particular manager NEVER calls me. I haven’t talked to him in 8 weeks! So maybe God intervened and wanted me to wait to have the call with the clinic. I’ll never know but I guess I just need to be patient.