The big test: off-plan for one meal. Can I do it without binging?
Updated: Aug 16, 2020
Friday, July 31st was my son’s 15th birthday. And with birthdays, always comes food and cake.
My goal was to get to 192 by his birthday. A full 30 pounds lost. I made it to 193.2. And I’m damn proud!
As per our usual plan, I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch or dinner, and what kind of cake he wanted. Normally, we would go out to eat, but… pandemic.
He asked for Mandarin take-out and a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. Great choices! These are also some of my favourite foods.
Now, I had planned to go off-plan for his birthday meal. It had been 120 days since I started my eating plan, and I haven’t cheated once. (side note: I hate the word ‘cheated.’ It just feels so bad, like I’m a bad person. I need to find another word for this). So it has been my plan all along to get to his birthday, and then enjoy the meal.
As his birthday approached, instead of getting excited about it, I started to stress. Would I be able to eat a reasonable amount of food for the meal, have one piece of cake and call it a day? Or would it open Pandora’s Box? Would my system be flooded with the need to eat all the things? Was it just better to avoid all these foods?
Sandra Elia, food addiction counsellor, talks about food being a drug. How much drug will I allow myself?
I decided I need to test myself. The first thing I did was to pull my hubby into the fray. I told him my plan, my worries and my fears. I asked him to help me stay accountable.
One meal. One piece of cake. Then back to the plan.
It doesn’t have to spiral into a day of eating everything. It doesn’t have to be, well, I’ve ruined myself so might as well keep going.
It can be enjoyable and containable. One meal. One piece of cake.
I can do this.
July 31st arrived with all the birthday bonanza we could muster up during a pandemic. It took me a few hours to remember that I was going to go off-plan. The fact that I didn’t wake up with that as the first thing on my mind is major progress!!
I picked up the DQ cake in the early afternoon and popped it in the freezer. We called in the dinner order and picked it up that evening. By 6pm, I had a plate full of all my Chinese food favs. I tentatively took my first bite. It was delicious! I ate my dinner slowly and savoured it. A while after dinner, we brought out the cake. I ate that slowly too and took the time to enjoy it. Later on that evening, we sat in our backyard and watched a movie with our projector (thank you Amazon for having such great deals and one day shipping!). We ate chips and mini chocolate bars. I had some, but not too much, and again ate it all slowly so I could really enjoy it.
I went to bed satisfied and not stuffed.
And the next morning, I hopped on the scale timidly. Did I ruin myself?? Nope, only 0.6lbs gained and that could have been just water retention from all the salt.
I continued on my eating plan and felt pleasantly surprised that this had gone off without a hitch.
My takeaway: I can enjoy an off-plan evening, and not slide backwards. It might even help me stay the course to have this once in a while. But that’s the key: once in a while. Balance.
