Shit Myself Thin

About 2 weeks ago, I have a particularly frustrating day – feeling so down and discouraged about my size and weight. UGH!! That’s it! I decided. I’m taking some laxatives to get some of this weight OFF! (note: as much as I’ve thought about doing this in the past, I never actually have gone through with it).

So I took 2 chocolate EX-LAX squares at bedtime. As I chewed them thoroughly, I felt some satisfaction as tomorrow would kickstart my weight loss.

The next day, there was “action” but not much. Hmm… at bedtime, I chewed 3 EX-LAX squares. There! That oughta do it! But the next day was similar to the first. What gives?

So at bedtime, I chewed another 3… and then another 2 the following morning. I went to work and made it to mid-afternoon before all of a sudden, I got an alarming cramp in my abdomen. Alarming, in that I honestly didn’t know if I was going to make it to the bathroom. When the cramp eased up some, I took that opportunity to make a run for it!

I got myself settled on the toilet and…. I will spare you the gross details. But let’s just say, the EX-LAX had kicked in right and proper. As I sat there, I thought wow, these cramps and grossness are SO NOT worth it to lose a few pounds. Other washroom patrons were coming in and using the bathroom and running for their lives. I politely did the best I could with 8 courtesy flushes. UGH….

But once the situation had, um, subsided, I thought well, that wasn’t so bad. I felt lighter and not as bloated. Maybe not such a bad thing after all…

That evening, when I opened the drawer in the bathroom to get out my earrings case, I saw the EX-LAX box there. I paused. What were my plans tomorrow and the next day, just in case there was another “incident”? I was going to kickboxing the next day, and helping to run the basketball playoffs the day after. Could I afford an extended bathroom break? Would I have some element of privacy to do so more comfortably?

I shut the drawer.

#weightloss

#laxatives